Back To Nature

Wednesday, July 18, 2007 - Day 27

Distance traveled - 67 miles

(Matter of factly) I took a shit in the forest today. It was the first time I have done that on this trip. It was good. I felt really connected with my surroundings, especially the mosquitos that were biting my pale legs and ass.

Today was a day that demanded release. Fortunately and unfortunately, that was what I got in that department. I left Miranda with some more dough in my pocket than I started, which made me happy. It was tough work, and I'm probably going to discover the poison oak rash today, but I know I can eat comfortably for a while. This morning found me not feeling too amazing. I took one nyquil gelcap last night, to ensure some sleep and to clear up my sinuses a bit. It did the trick. I slept well but was a bit drowsy in the morning. I had to force myself out of bed. I went to the cafe down the street and had a good breakfast. They really had great food. Got my stuff together and hit the road. Eddie and Margaret don't have good tap water, so I decided to fill my bottles at the cafe. Went in, they filled them up. There were quite a few people in there, looked like mostly locals. They looked me up and down when I entered. As I left the place, water bottles full, and got on my bike, I heard one of them say from inside, "gets free water and doesn't even leave a tip." He said something after that about getting along in the world. This really pissed me off. I couldn't stop thinking about that. I don't know which one of them said it, but it was obvious they had something against me as soon as I walked in. But they had no idea that I had been there that morning, eating breakfast, and that I left the waitress a good tip.

Normally I wouldn't let something like that bother me too much, especially on this journey. I've had to deal with plenty of close-minded, unwelcoming locals along the way. I wasn't in a good place this morning, however. The last few days have been emotionally difficult, and I haven't had any kind of outlet; I've felt like I had to keep everything inside for the last two days while I was staying in Miranda. Currently I'm reading a book called 'A Death in the Family' by James Agee. It's a really good book, takes place in Knoxville in the early 1900's, and is about the husband and father in the family dying in a car accident. The part I have been reading the last two days has been about the accident, about the wife finding out, and her family being there to comfort her. Agee is an amazing writer, and I really couldn't believe how well this whole part was written, when the wife is up late, waiting to hear news of whether her husband is alive or not. So here I am reading all this and not feeling like I'm in a place where I can cry or let myself go at all. It was hard. Then, on top of that, last night they were watching this movie 'One True Thing,' I think it's called, with Meryl Steep, where she has cancer and is dying. It was sad. Here I am watching it with people that I don't know well, that I don't feel terribly comfortable around, especially with something like that. I'm not really sure why I stuck around and watched the whole thing. I could have left at any time and gone to bed, but for some reason I felt embarrassed to leave or something. I don't know why. I think I was just too tired, and I couldn't really think too straight with an incredibly stuffy nose and trouble taking deep breaths.

After all this, I needed to get something out, I really felt like I needed to just explode. The problem was, as I was riding through this beautiful forest of redwood and pine trees, all I could think about was how much those people at the cafe pissed me off. I knew that I needed to move past it, that I needed to get to a place where I could cry, but I couldn't. I wanted to so badly, but I couldn't. So at least I had that nice poop in the coastal redwoods; that was one good form of release that I needed, but it never brought about the other form that I so desperately need. I was able to enjoy the scenery much more after it, though.

The scenery was incredible. It rained last night, all night, so there was this quiet contentment about the forest. The rain was an unexpected, unusual occurrance for this time of year, but the wildlife gladly welcomed it, it seemed. As I rode through the trees, at least for the parts when I wasn't right next to the 101, there was a peaceful stillness about. Everything was lush and beautiful and content. The sun was out by afternoon, and it streamed through the canopy of trees and shined upon floors of clover and ferns. The trees were so majestic, and so fucking huge! I've seen plenty of gigantic trees in my day, but never so many in one place, surrounded by so much other great scenery. It was really nice. I can't wait to come back here one day. Again it's another place that I would never want to drive through, not after this, and I hope that next time I am just on foot. There is so much to explore, so many trees that you don't even see from the road. I'll be back.

Tonight I'm staying in Arcata, just a few miles north of Eureka, home of Humbolt State University, weed capital of the world. This is an interesting place. I'm staying at Adrienne's house. So nice of her to trust me to stay here, after only knowing me for one day. She's a saint, for sure. Currently she's in the Los Angeles area visiting family. She has a girl from the school watching the house, Amy.

Tomorrow will be another day off, but a real day off this time, no weedwacking. I will be taking care of necessary business of showering, laundry, getting rid of this poison oak, checking out my bike, and switching back to the bigger chainring. I decided that I want the bigger one back. As far as I know I won't be tackling any really serious hills here for a while, and I miss being able to pedal on slight downhills or get any kind of real speed on the flats. I'm all about enjoying the scenery, but currenly I'm on the 101, and there are plenty of stretches of nothing or not so nice surroundings, and I just want to be able to push through those. I could probably use a real day of rest anyway. And I need to figure out where I'll be staying for the next week or so.

I'm just hoping that sometime soon I'll have the opportunity to get out some of this built up emotion. It's well overdue. It will be when I least suspect it, I suppose. That's fine, as long as it comes. I don't think I can handle much more of keeping it inside. I wish it was just as easy as saying, 'okay, I'm gonna cry now.' It doesn't seem to work that way for me. Bummer.

Nighty-night.

Music selections for today:
Muse - Origin of Symmetry
Jarmar - Music Made in My Underwear
Dusty Rhodes and the River Band - First You Live (masters)



my first impulse was to just jump out there and run around like crazy, never stopping, swimming when need be, jumping when i can. i guess i have pretty good control over my impulses.




so many were so much bigger than this one, too. can you belive that? i couldn't. i do now.



this is near the site of my defecation


i can't believe this is real










what?!


i don't get it. it was these two signs, no others, in what seemed like a random place.




i've been looking for this stuff for a while


should be good


i was in a very experimental mood at the grocery store

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Comments

Dump

Dave

I'm really glad you took a shit in the woods. I don't know how you held out doing it for that long. Mother Nature doesn't mind. In fact, she eats that shit up. Get it?

Don't forget to stop and smell the roses as frequently as possible....

In Christafari's name we pray.


nice to see you made it home (mine, anyways)

Adrienne from Arcata

Well done, young man. Can't wait to hear how the northern world is treating you and hopefully you've found some great folks along the way.
Enjoy enjoy.
It's hard to read some of this and see the beauty you are experiencing whilst I sit in the nice air conditioned, well fed home of my in laws.
You've fueled me for the day and I'm off on my daily adventure into the Angeles Forest.
best,
A